Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection

Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection is a compilation of hilarious and outrageous job interviews. Well, everyone has the occasional bad job interview and there are real job-seekers who would do their best just to get hired for a position. There are ones who would even do the funniest thing to catch the recruiter's attention. Dumbest it may seem but some applicants can make it but most were rejected.

Check out these Tagalog Funny Applicant Jokes Collection that may be good, bad, or downright ugly. But one thing is for sure - these will gonna make you laugh and ease your busy day!
BOSS: Isa sa hinahanap namin sa appplicant ay yung responsable
JUAN: Sir, responsable po ako
BOSS: Talaga ?
JUAN: Oo, Sir. Dun sa dati kong trabaho, pag may di magandang nangyayari ay ako ang laging itinuturong responsable

* * * * *

HR: Anung pangalan mo?

Juan: Juan Kampupot po.

HR: Ilang taon?

Juan: Desiotso po.

HR: May trabaho?

Juan: TRICYCLE Driver po.

HR: SINGLE?

Juan: May SIDECAR ho TRICYLE Driver nga eh, Kaloka Ka!

* * * * *

Sa isang job interview...

BOSS: Okay! Ano ba alam mo?

JUAN: Alam ko kung saan nakatira asawa mo at alam ko rin saan nakatira ang kabit mo.

BOSS: Tanggap kana hayop ka!

Seaman: Mag-aaply po sana ako.

Captain: Marunong ka bang lumangoy?

Seaman: Hindi po.

Captain: Edi hindi ka pwede!

Seaman: Bakit? Ang piloto marunong bang LUMIPAD? Shunga lang?

* * * * *

(4 Job applicants were asked ‘What is the fastest thing in the world?’ during an interview.)

German says “Thought!”

American says “Blink of an Eye!”

Aussie says “Light Switch!”

Pinoy says “Diarrhea!”

The interviewer told him to expound his answer:

Pinoy said “Lit mi eksplen. Dis murning, I hab istumak ek. I run to di tuylet but bipur I kud tenk, blenk, or eben swets on di layt, dir was igit in my pants olride. Su past!”

* * * * *

Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"

Applicant: "The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"

* * * * *

(Dahil first job interview ‘to ni Juan pinaghandaan niya ng husto, nag research at nag aral siya sa mga posibleng itatanong sa job interview)

MAM: Next applicant JUAN. Merong 50 na kahon sa eroplano. Kung nahulog ang 1, ilan ang matitira?

JUAN: Confident! Alam ko yan MAM, Madali lang yan, eh di 49!

MAM: Ngayon, sabihin mo sakin ang 3 steps kung paano mo mailalagay ang elepante sa ref?

JUAN: 1. Buksan ang ref 2. Ilagay ang elepante 3. Isara ang ref

MAM: 4 steps naman kung paano mo mailalagay ang usa sa ref?

JUAN: 1. Buksan ang ref 2.Alisin ang elepante 3.Ilagay ang usa 4.Isara ang ref

MAM: Ngayon, birthday ng leon. Andun lahat ng hayop maliban sa 1. Anu un at bkit ?

JUAN: Yung usa, dahil nasa loob siya ng ref.

MAM: Next question, paano makakatawid ang matandang babae sa ilog na puno ng buwaya?

JUAN: Tatawid lang siya kase wala naman yung mga buwaya. Andun sila sa birthday ng leon.

MAM: Pero namatay parin yung matanda. Sa anong dahilan?

(Sa isip ni JUAN, ang dadali lang ng tanong nasagot ko lahat. Makakapagtrabaho na rin sa wakas!)

JUAN: Marahil, nalunod? (Napa ngiti si Juan kay Mam)

MAM: MALI! Tinamaan siya nung kahon na nahulog mula sa eroplano. tsk tsk tsk. Maaari ka ng umalis… Next applicant please!

* * * * *

(2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo)

Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?

Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko lang, "sure!"

* * * * *

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. Exactly 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is MARIO DIMACULANGAN.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

(2,000 people leave the room.)

MARIO says to himself, ’I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience in managing more than 100 people may leave.

(2,000 people leave the room)

Mario says to himself ’ I never managed anybody but myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay.

What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

(500 people leave the room)

Mario says to himself, ’I left high school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’

So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave.

(498 people leave the room)

Mario says to himself, ’ I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?’

So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

(Everyone else has gone)

Bill Gates joined them and said ’Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so "I’d now like to hear you have a

conversation together in that language."

Calmly, Mario turns to the other candidate and says `Ano ba yan, dong, tayo na lang ang naiwan dito ?’ The other candidate answers "Ewan ko ba, pare, bakit nga ba sila nagsilabas"

* * * * *

Studyante: Boss mag-aaply po ako.

Manager: Magaaply ka? Eh bkit naka-trunks at shades ka? Anong position ba inaaplayan mo?

Studyante: Summer job po

* * * * *

BOSS: Why should we hire you?

PEDRO: Mas mabuti po ang bagong tulad ko dahil wala pang sungay.

BOSS: English please.

PEDRO: Well, you see, uh, I'm brand new so I'm not yet horny!

* * * * *

BOSS: "Do you have any sales experience?"

JUAN: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in Manila."

Well, the boss liked the Pinoy chappie so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

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